• Thu. Feb 22nd, 2024

In this generation we tend to overlook the toxic traits that fathers bring in their relationship with their children, which eventually lead to being criticised, manipulated and having total control of the relationship.

Kgaugelo Phala

Toxic patterns vary from person to person. Toxic behaviour occurs when some people that make others feel bad about their life choices and themselves. For instance, being criticized about your career path and living your life in a certain way that does not suit them, and has been an ongoing pattern, therefore living their life through you.

Toxic fathers are:

Always insisting on being right in terms of to having similar opinions about your career goals, friends and pretty much everything else. If you’ve expressed that you’re happy with your life and the people in it, regardless they will constantly meddle in your business and does not respect your boundaries.

Toxic fathers continuously compare you with your siblings. You and your siblings are completely different people. But because they made better life choices than you, you end up competing, unknowingly, and possibility of being teased makes you feel insecure and attacked.

He consistently plays the victim. Sometimes, parents can’t help but guilt trip their kids. But there’s a difference between expressing disappointment and creating a toxic environment by blaming everyone else for their feelings.

Everything is about him. This happens when they don’t take a moment to ask general questions about your life or how you are doing. If this happens frequently every time you talk, then the relationship could be toxic.

Toxic fathers are impossible to please. You’re frequently bending over backward to please everyone in your life. Most people are thankful for your flexibility and the help that they get from you, but your some fathers, it seems to always want more. If you consistently feel like you’re coming up short in his eyes, which makes one have a bruised ego and feeling that they are not enough to please their fathers. Eventually that will lead to a mental breakdown especially in men.

There is often a lack of communication between fathers and their children. Although parental love is always present, children often misunderstand or they are unaware of their parent’s love for them, especially the father’s love. Fathers often try to keep their strong figure as the head of the households and their love is usually not directly expressed.

It is difficult for children to speak openly about their emotions and express their feelings in front of their fathers because of how they will get easily shut down. The world isn’t perfect, we all go through failed relationships, but we need to set realistic expectations in order to tolerate one another.

In conclusion, even though fathers and their children are similar in many ways, we have to remember that they were raised in/by a different generation and have different experiences. It’s important to identify the areas where neither of you is likely to change your mind and agree to respect the other’s opinion without judgment. And sometimes it’s worth agreeing to disagree and not hold on to feelings of resentment.

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